Monday, February 2, 2009


So, I'm a San Diegan. We lost to the Steelers a coupla weeks back. I spent 5 goddamn years in Central PA with both Eagles and Steelers fans, which instilled in me a mile-wide streak of contrarianism (I also root for the Red Sox as well as the Padres... here in NYC). So, while I care little and less about AZ, I had, had, HAD to root against those #%#@%$@ Steelers.

If I put aside my tribalism for a second, I have to admit... holy crap, they deserved this. Much as I would have been all happily schadenfreudey if they hadn't gotten that twinkletoes touchdown, and lost by less than that challenged-and-overturned TD->Field Goal thing in the first half... that was a good game, they were the better team, and they deserved it just for that run by a man who was obviously not built to run, but, perhaps... was born to run.

Oh, and the halftime show was fucking awesome. Bruce's rocked a few shows before, that much was obvious from the first words out of his mouth. Though the attack-a-camera-with-your-crotch move was a little much...

And now we get to the things I really wanted to talk about this morning. Commercials! Some of the commercials were pretty darn good, some were meh, and some were just plain facepalm. So, without further ado, here were some of the ads I found most memorable, and my reactions to them:

Transformers 2: This gave me a tingly feeling in my lower bits.

Race to Witch Mountain: Well, this actually looks surprisingly good. Maybe they're NOT futzing with my childhood too badly this time.

Bridgestone: O! How delightfully clever and droll! Ms. Potato Head is a NAG! And then her mouth goes flying away! And Mr. Potato Head is pleased, although the angry eyes come out, but it's worth it because that annoying bitch is finally quiet! How edgy! How original! How my eyes hurt from rolling!

GoDaddy: Damn, I'm almost insulted more as a Comp Sci than as a woman. I certainly am much less inclined to buy their product. PROTIP: Insulting your potential market on several levels ("hey, you fat slob nerds just wanna look at nekkid hawt chicks all day!", "hey, no female geeks exist! If they do, they're weird and abnormal!") can actually lead to lower market share.

Budweiser: Hate your beer, but damned if the horsey commercials weren't awesome. Fetch the giant stick! A heartwarming story of immigration! The relentless pursuit of True Love, wherever it was taken to! All too fucking cute. :-)

Bud Light: Your commercials would be funny, if I could look past the fact that you're trying to make "our beer tastes like water!" into a SELLING point! "Drinkability" my ass!

Doritos: Argh! These were awesome, with that one exception! Why, yes, causing a woman to be naked and exposed in public is TEH FUN-NEE. It's not like, say, finding yourself naked in public is nightmare-worthy, or that she'd have trouble getting to where a change of clothes was, or that her day and schedule is absolutely ruined ten ways from Sunday... no, all that matters is that the dude saw hawt chick flesh. Bah.

Sobe: If I had to pick one commercial, this would probably be my favorite. The football-players-doing ballet was quirky, but didn't seemed played up for homophobia (although the gender narratives behind football and ballet contributed to the humor of incongruity, it almost seemed a subversion of it. But maybe I'm optimistic.), the lizards were cool, and it all kinda melded into a kaleidoscope of amusement and colors. Hmmm. In a bit, I'm gonna go search the internets to see how many David Icke fans FLIPPED THEIR FUCKING SHIT at the end with the human-reptilian shapeshifting thing.

Well, that's it for my reactions to the Bowl. Sigh... and now I gotta face all those Steelers fans I've talked shit to. Dammit!

No comments: